April 16 ~ 1

Another sleepless night...so much for the Risperdone "knocking me out" and helping me sleep. My brain really hurts today and I feel as if I am in a fog. The mania of yesterday has been replaced with this feeling that I am not really here. One of those days where you aren't so sure how you got from A to B or how you are even existing.

Spent the last bit of this past hour dealing with some of life's stressors and hoping that now that it is out of the way the rest of the day will go much more smoothly. Nice to sit down and write for me...not for a more stressful purpose.

My eyes are sore today, likely from a lack of sleep. They have that heavy, burning feeling. I know though even if I lay down and try and get some sleep that it won't come. Amazing how tired you can feel and not be able to sleep...that is one of the perils in dealing with Mental Illness...the inability to turn the mind off and shut out the world. As much as we try and hide away from the world within the confines of our safe places, we still can't escape it. It is always there in our mind, playing over and over like a broken record.

I think today will entail a lot of curling up with my favourite blanket time...at least I hope it will. I don't have much energy for doing anything else. Perhaps I'll do some reading although I am finding reading difficult lately. Can't seem to process that well, likely due to stress and lack of sleep...but who really knows.