April 18 ~ 2

Like old times...nice to be able to feel that tonight with you. I have missed that very much so. It was nice to be able to see a calmer presence in your eyes, instead of the fear. I know that fear so well...the fear that comes from facing your own worst fear...your own personal vulnerability. I remember that "Thelma and Louise" moment where we chose life. Seems like such a long time ago...so much has happened since then. And the months that I have been experiencing lately were so hard to cling to that "choose life" decision. Yes, the illness began to consume me, drawing me into that dark place where I wasn't so sure life was the right choice. There were many days and nights where I was just barely hanging on by one life thread.

And now, like you, I see that glimmer of hope. The one that comes from knowing that it is right to choose life...because no matter how destructive and worthless you believe you are there is still a purpose here for you. Yes, likely I'll face that glimmer being overcome by that shadow of fear and doubt again...I will probably always struggle with that battle between the light and the darkness. But right now, having arrived home from a night like it used to be, my spirit is filled with a bit more light than it has been for a while. I love you my friend...thank you for being ready...I knew we would walk together again.